That question mark was definitely intentional. Just the other day I was confident; I was going for a job interview at a government agency. I was wearing a suit and heels, purse in hand. A clipboard, paper, pens, an agenda and three printed copies of the resume in hand? Check. I was ready to take on the world.
Cue the rest of the day. Me limping around the city in these heels, attempting to find a pair of wearable shoes that I can afford. Hop on the bus change, then head back downtown for my unpaid internship. Thankfully this internship allows me to ditch the suit and replace it with jeans, a t-shirt and of course my winter jacket since it is officially -50 in the building. On the other hand, I believe it was in that moment that I forever decided against growing up if it means I can no longer wear jeans to work.
I woke up the next day with the best of intentions. I made eggs. I searched job boards. I got dressed. I didn't get the position I interviewed for. Okay, small set back, but you know at least I still have my goal of never leaving my jeans intact. Life was looking good.
Of course fast forward a few more days and I'm at home on my parents couch trying to ignore the fact that I'm unemployed with oh so few options. I filled out that application at Starbucks. Nothing back yet. My brother is loving having me home. I've taken up permanent residence on the couch and there is no way he's regaining control of the remote control or computer anytime soon. Or at least not until Tuesday, when I travel back to my apartment.
Today I hit a new low. The day you know you've reached the bottom of the unemployment barrel when you don't get out of your pyjamas all day long. The afghan and couch were definitely my two best friends and who knew PVR could be so addictive. Do I want to watch The Break Up for the fourth time today without commercials? Why yes in fact I do. It gave me the chance to talk through different sections each time. How could I not keep replaying it?
So while I'll be heading back to the dorms in a few days post long weekend I'll be doing so with a slightly new attitude. Gone is the wear nothing but jeans approach. It is dead, replaced by my let's aim to change into street clothing before 6pm. Maybe I'll even start setting the alarm again. Maybe. Hopefully at that point I'll have a brilliant new idea detailing how I'm going to make a billion dollars over the course of the summer. If that fails, invest in lotto tickets? Meet a brilliant, successful lawyer/doctor hybrid on Craiglist? Sue craigslist when said doctor/lawyer turns out to be a psychotic serial killer?
Maybe I'll do all that when I stop tearing up at hearing Roy Orbison songs on TimeLife commercials while reading Missed Connections and get up off this couch. I can say one thing is for certain. I certainly don't feel like I'm any closer to adulthood right now.